Ode to Friends: Friends Through Sickness and Health

Part 2

Younger people with a chronic illness often lose a lot of their friends after becoming ill. When you are no longer able to keep up with your friends at the same pace and take part in the things they do you begin to see less and less of each other. This is hard for a young person who is sick. Not only are we dealing with the physical and emotional stress of being ill but we also have to deal with our routines and environments rapidly changing. For those that become sick to the point that they are no longer able to go to school or work, they lose all social contact with the outside world. And I’m sure the friends do not intentionally neglect or ignore you, but they have busy lives and have to carry on. This is just life. 

So most often we turn to social networking to find new friends. I think this is a great thing because we are able to find people that are dealing with the same disease and issues through support groups. I highly recommend this! Some of the people I have met online that have Lyme Disease are now some of my closest friends. When you are young and going through a disease it is very reassuring to have a friend that is going through the same thing, it kind of reminds you that it’s not just you that’s this way. One possible bad thing about completely converting to social networking is that you tend to become emotionally invested in your computer and the people that live in it. (Trust me I’m not saying that’s entirely bad, nor do I mean that in a hypocritical way because that statement includes me.) I think it is important to get out and stay in touch with your ‘normal healthy’ friends as much as possible to give you a since of normalcy and stability. But for those that can’t get out of bed and are house bound the computer becomes your world. 

And when people begin to get better and are able to socialize more I think it is important to remember that you are different than your ‘normal’ friends. They haven’t been through an illness and they may not understand how to cope with that. So give them some time to get readjusted to the idea of you being back to normal. I think when we get so close to our Lymie friends we tend to forget that most people don’t understand what we mean when we talk backwards or blurt out a list of supplements we are on or how we can’t tell if we are herxing or dying. 

So don’t completely give up on your ‘normal’ friends if you kind of part your ways once you get sick, there are a few good ones out there. And if your friends have stuck with you through thick and thin, sickness and health, keep them around because they are few and far between. And if your friends have parted ways with you, don't worry. It may hurt for a while but they obviously weren't worth the effort. It's important for all friendships to be two-sided and not one. Everyone needs emotional support from friends at some point, so if your friends aren't willing to give you that in the time that you need it most (when you are sick) then heck with them. Don't let their negativity drain you, just move on to better and brighter friendships. 

To new and old friendships, may they always keep you bright and happy hearted and always reaching for the stars.