Saturday, August 13, 2011

The Show Must Go On!

Act: 1 Scene: Infinity

When it comes to playing the role of a lymie the curtain is never called. The show is never over because this is no show, this is life. Living with Lyme is a 24/7 job, definitely not a part time gig. Living with Lyme does involve acting sometimes, for me at least. Before I was correctly diagnosed doctor after doctor after psychologist told me straight to my face I was faking being sick for the attention and that I needed to stop doing “this" to my parents. Well obviously they were all idiots. However this caused me to become a very introverted person and I forced myself not to show how bad I felt or how much pain I was in because I didn't want my parents to be mad at me or think I was making myself sick.
Still today I have taught myself to deal with my pain so that I don't cry (after all crying only makes you hurt worse) and I put on a smile and silently grimace through the pain when I have to act like a living human being. Sometimes the show just has to go on! This isn't always the best thing to do because pushing yourself usually leads to a huge crash and burn, in my experience at least. 

In my opinion all chronically ill people are award winning actors! The fact that we get up and take a shower some days without a huge dramatic sobbing and screaming in anguish scene is us acting our asses off. And to think that some lymie’s still keep full time jobs and take care of their families is amazing! Other people may not see how hard it is and appreciate our small accomplishments, but for us every mile stone is a big deal! We may complain from time to time but trust me, and I think all my other lymie’s would agree, if all we do is complain sometimes about how crappy we feel that is a huge accomplishment of not letting the disease and pain take over us! If we were perfectly honest about how we truly felt all the time we would be running around screaming bloody murder, then we really would get locked up in the crazy house. 

So to all my chronically ill actors and actresses, take a bow because you deserve a standing ovation! Keep fighting your fight because one day the curtain will draw to a close and the lights will be shining down on you to reward you for your great performances! You are all true stars living in the lyme light.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Ode to Friends: Friends Through Sickness and Health



Part 2
Younger people with a chronic illness often lose a lot of their friends after becoming ill. When you are no longer able to keep up with your friends at the same pace and take part in the things they do you begin to see less and less of each other. This is hard for a young person who is sick. Not only are we dealing with the physical and emotional stress of being ill but we also have to deal with our routines and environments rapidly changing. For those that become sick to the point that they are no longer able to go to school or work, they lose all social contact with the outside world. And I’m sure the friends do not intentionally neglect or ignore you, but they have busy lives and have to carry on. This is just life. 

So most often we turn to social networking to find new friends. I think this is a great thing because we are able to find people that are dealing with the same disease and issues through support groups. I highly recommend this! Some of the people I have met online that have Lyme Disease are now some of my closest friends. When you are young and going through a disease it is very reassuring to have a friend that is going through the same thing, it kind of reminds you that it’s not just you that’s this way. One possible bad thing about completely converting to social networking is that you tend to become emotionally invested in your computer and the people that live in it. (Trust me I’m not saying that’s entirely bad, nor do I mean that in a hypocritical way because that statement includes me.) I think it is important to get out and stay in touch with your ‘normal healthy’ friends as much as possible to give you a since of normalcy and stability. But for those that can’t get out of bed and are house bound the computer becomes your world. 

And when people begin to get better and are able to socialize more I think it is important to remember that you are different than your ‘normal’ friends. They haven’t been through an illness and they may not understand how to cope with that. So give them some time to get readjusted to the idea of you being back to normal. I think when we get so close to our Lymie friends we tend to forget that most people don’t understand what we mean when we talk backwards or blurt out a list of supplements we are on or how we can’t tell if we are herxing or dying. 

So don’t completely give up on your ‘normal’ friends if you kind of part your ways once you get sick, there are a few good ones out there. And if your friends have stuck with you through thick and thin, sickness and health, keep them around because they are few and far between. And if your friends have parted ways with you, don't worry. It may hurt for a while but they obviously weren't worth the effort. It's important for all friendships to be two-sided and not one. Everyone needs emotional support from friends at some point, so if your friends aren't willing to give you that in the time that you need it most (when you are sick) then heck with them. Don't let their negativity drain you, just move on to better and brighter friendships. 

To new and old friendships, may they always keep you bright and happy hearted and always reaching for the stars.

 

Monday, August 1, 2011

Ode to a Best Friend: Friends Through Thick and Thin


Part 1
In a lifetime one meets and forms bonds with quite an eclectic group of people. You may even be lucky enough to have several best friends throughout many years. But for some, friends are somewhat disposable as we grow older. I on the other hand have been abundantly blessed with a best friend that the word amazing is just not sufficient enough for. 

We met in the 3rd grade through another friend one day after school and quickly clicked. Ironically enough we actually lived right down the street from one another. Through the years we have become more than friends, we are like family. Even though we didn’t always go to the same school, or live in the same town we always stayed friends. Connected at the somewhat sappy heart and overly witty sarcastic mind, we just couldn’t be separated. Today, over 12 years later we are still two peas in a pod. 

When it comes to true friends no disagreement, distance, or length of time will weather a real friendship. My best friend is a testament to all of that. We met just after I became sick, and through all the years of doctors and me being sick, she was always there. I think it is safe to say she is the only person that would come visit you in the hospital on your birthday, throw you a surprise party in your hospital room, and make you a play-doh cupcake because you can’t eat real cake! That’s a true friend right there! 

She has an amazing understanding of my situation and doesn’t judge or put me down because I can’t do all the things that other people my age can. Plus the fact that she is willing to drive an hour to come visit me, sometimes to just sit and talk to me says just how great she is. Most ‘friends’ wouldn’t go through the hassle of lugging a wheelchair in and out of a car and pushing me through a store, but her, she does it without saying a word. She is the one person that gets me being sick and doesn’t make me feel bad. She knows the sickness but she also knows me and never forgets that those are two different things! To say thank you for her friendship would never be enough.

So when you are having a down day in the dark always look toward your friends to lend you a shining star!