The English punk rock band, The Clash, presented an intriguing question with the title of the song “Should I stay or should I go?” And little did they know how relevant that very question would be in the minds of thousands of chronically ill people struggling with making decisions.
We are all faced with making decisions in our lives from day to day, some more important than others. And for most people making decisions about common daily task is not a difficult thing to do. However, when you become chronically ill your daily decisions become very different from other peoples. When you are stuck at home day after day, week after week while being sick the choices you make become more challenging. You are no longer concerned about what you are going to wear to work and what type of latte you are going to get that day. For the chronically ill our daily decisions are more along the lines of what new supplement am I going to try today and do I even feel up to taking a shower?
It is even more difficult when we are faced with decisions of doing things that we want to do but that we know will have repercussion on our body. It’s a forever arguable question, “Should I stay or should I go?” Even though we are sick we are still human. We still want to get out and go places with our friends and have fun; however for most of us that would cause us to go downhill health wise. So what do we do?
A party is coming up on Saturday and all your friends are going to be there but you haven’t felt well this week and have a doctor’s appointment early Monday morning. In our minds a fight is going on. The conscience of our healthy selves sits on one shoulder while our sick conscience lies on the other shoulder. The healthy suggest “Oh go! It will be loads of fun and you haven’t seen your friends in forever. Don’t worry about feeling bad after, you feel bad anyways.” While the sick interrupts “You know you don’t feel like going. If your friends are really your friends they will understand. Plus you need to start resting up and preparing yourself for going to the doctor Monday.” Ugh! It’s enough to make you want to scream!
*And a piece of advice ... Never ask outsiders for help in deciding these sorts of things. What the heck do they know? If it’s your friend, they will most likely say go and if it’s your parent or partner they may say stay. Either way they have no clue how it is going to make you feel and if you listen to their advice (good or bad) and you don’t decide for yourself you will have resentment to whatever decision is made.
Overtime you become more in sync with your body and are willing to accept your limitations. Once you learn your body’s reactions it is somewhat easier to make these decisions. It is a drag to constantly have to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do, but you just have to remember that you are looking out for yourself and are doing it for your own good. Don’t let anxiety overcome you with these decisions or become depressed when you limit your outings. It is hard for anyone, but just remember that you are trying to help your body heal so that you can get back to a completely normal life. Plus half the time watching a movie curled up in bed with a friend or even by yourself can be more fun than going to a night club and fighting off crazy drunks.
So remember...there are always stars above the darkened clouds.
