Reflecting and Accepting

The past few months have been morphed into one big mess of memories; some better than others but with much reflection I am thankful for all of them. 

August began with the one month anniversary of me living out on my own and me coming to the desperate realization of how poor I was forever destined to be. The month was also marked by me being incredibly sick (what else is new?) and starting back on a heavy duty course of IV antibiotics for Lyme and the pneumonia. This left me in a somewhat delusional state from herxing horrifically, no sleep, and extreme inadequate nutrition. Thanks to Lyme I also missed out on a family beach vacation. Even though the beach is not at all my type of terrain, I don’t like the fact that it was the first and last family vacation that took place with all of our family members. 

September came and I was still sick with the dreaded pneumonia so my IV antibiotic protocol continued. And October quickly followed with the same. I had my birthday and celebrated by coming to my parent’s house and watching cable all day while infusing antibiotics and talking to the guy that came to install my parent’s internet. I must say he found my unique sense of humor comical and was intrigued by my substantial amount of medical knowledge. Halloween came and my third PORT quit working so I was forced to get a PICC line. That was just a bundle of nightmares waiting to bust open. 

November began in a hurried rush with lots of things to do. My doctor finally changed my antibiotics to a medication that I could inhale as a vapor through a nebulizer that began to help the pneumonia. My beloved grandmother that was battling cancer had taken a turn for the worse. So despite my usual mental and physical state of a person in an indisposed insomnious phase I spent as much time at my grandparent’s house as possible. I was shockingly surprised that my insomnia had finally become purposeful because numerous nights I sat awake in my grandmother’s room watching her sleep so that my mother could get some much needed rest. 

Thanksgiving was a monumental day as my brother and I cooked our traditional dinner for our entire family. The cooking went well with no flames, smoke, or detectors frantically beeping. The rest of the day was a success as well, but boy oh boy, that night I was burnt toast! There was not one part of my body that was not screaming with some sort of pain. However, I was very proud of myself that I was able to accomplish such a grand task...and survive! 

 

My grandmother sadly continued to decline and with the beginning of December she passed away and moved on to become one of heavens finest angels! Our families’ hearts were saddened but filled with numerous joyous memories. With many things to do related to a family member passing, stress was high and I was forcefully pushing my body to function on pure adrenaline and faith! A week of rest and then surgery was on my schedule. In my opinion the surgery to have my old PORT taken out and my new one put in could not come soon enough! The next day my infamous PICC line was pulled (YAY!!!) and two days later was Christmas Eve! After January third, when I go back to my surgeon to get my stitches removed I am here by allowing my body to take a great sigh of relief and function at the lowest state possible in order to stay alive. 

Even with all the stress, sickness, pain, and staying in one big perpetual rush I wouldn’t change the way anything took place. I was able to spend quality time with my grandmother and I surprised myself by achieving things I wouldn’t have otherwise attempted. 

Sending you all the best of wishes and having faith that you had a Merry Christmas!