Ode to a Best Friend: Friends Through Thick and Thin

Part 1

In a lifetime one meets and forms bonds with quite an eclectic group of people. You may even be lucky enough to have several best friends throughout many years. But for some, friends are somewhat disposable as we grow older. I on the other hand have been abundantly blessed with a best friend that the word amazing is just not sufficient enough for. 

We met in the 3^rd grade through another friend one day after school and quickly clicked. Ironically enough we actually lived right down the street from one another. Through the years we have become more than friends, we are like family. Even though we didn’t always go to the same school, or live in the same town we always stayed friends. Connected at the somewhat sappy heart and overly witty sarcastic mind, we just couldn’t be separated. Today, over 12 years later we are still two peas in a pod. 

When it comes to true friends no disagreement, distance, or length of time will weather a real friendship. My best friend is a testament to all of that. We met just after I became sick, and through all the years of doctors and me being sick, she was always there. I think it is safe to say she is the only person that would come visit you in the hospital on your birthday, throw you a surprise party in your hospital room, and make you a play-doh cupcake because you can’t eat real cake! That’s a true friend right there! 

She has an amazing understanding of my situation and doesn’t judge or put me down because I can’t do all the things that other people my age can. Plus the fact that she is willing to drive an hour to come visit me, sometimes to just sit and talk to me says just how great she is. Most ‘friends’ wouldn’t go through the hassle of lugging a wheelchair in and out of a car and pushing me through a store, but her, she does it without saying a word. She is the one person that gets me being sick and doesn’t make me feel bad. She knows the sickness but she also knows me and never forgets that those are two different things! To say thank you for her friendship would never be enough.

So when you are having a down day in the dark always look toward your friends to lend you a shining star! 

Living In The Dark

Living with an Invisible Illness, such as Lyme Disease or Chiari, may sometimes seem like living in a world without light. Most people don’t see the illness or how it affects you, they don’t see the darkness that fills you. They only see the physical you, the you that is defined as a human that is equivalent to everyone else in the world. Only the Invisibly Ill knows how difficult it is to live a life in the dark. We, the invisibles all have a commonality, we all know what it’s like to lose our life and all sense of normalcy to a disease while being pushed into a life of suffering that requires surviving from day to day. Along with battling a disease we have to deal with doctors ignoring us or dismissing our symptoms for fathoms of our imaginations for attention and lack of support from friends and family members. Not only do we have to fight for our health we also have to fight for our doctors to believe us, for the doctors that do treat us to not be scrutinized by the government, for our insurance companies to pay for our treatments, and for our family and friends to help support us financially and emotionally. It’s all a complicated and sometimes depressing process. However we are not alone in this battle through the darkness. The Invisible Illness community has grown quite a lot over the past few years with social networking. Now we the invisibles are more easily able to find people that are struggling with similar situations that we can relate to, vent with, and learn new ways to cope with our diseases. This new found source of community is also a great assistance in learning more from others about our own disease’s and other ways of treatment and healing that we may have not formerly be familiar with.

So no matter how dark the darkness is or how brutal the battle; there is always a light to shine within us that when we come together we will be surrounded by the light of power and healing.

Positivity is Power

Being sick sucks! Let’s just get that out there. Whether it’s a cold, the flu, or a chronic illness no one likes being sick! And let’s be honest, when you feel like crap, (or in some peoples case, a reincarnated zombie that has the flu that’s been hit by a truck that is having crack withdrawals) being positive is the last thing on your mind.

 However, positivity is power! It’s all about mindset, patience, and perseverance. As complicated as some doctors and shrinks make our brains out to be one thing is pretty simple, if you think something or act a certain way long enough your brain will start to believe it. We are creatures of habit after all. So if you are continuously negative towards yourself, your health, and others; well that’s what’s going to happen. You will become an old unsociable hermit crab with a bad attitude that no one wants to be around. That is going to get you nowhere but a one room apartment with a cat that hates you. Plus if you are dealing with a chronic illness it would mostly likely only lead you down a darker road of pain, misery, and sickness. 

So why not add a little positivity into your life? I’m not suggesting you go join a cheer club or start putting smiley face stickers on everything you touch or singing “I feel pretty” everyday. Just try to change your outlook on life if the future in your mind isn’t a positive picture. And don’t try to become Gandhi with the positivity all at once, that could annoy even yourself, so just take baby steps and try some of these ideas... 

5 Ways to use the Power of Positivity:

1. Be realistic! Set small goals that you can achieve. When you accomplish the task make it a point to consciously be proud of yourself.
2. Focus on the good! Instead of focusing on the bad, appreciate the good things. Acknowledge one thing each day that you are happy about. (Ex. sun shining, it’s Saturday, etc.)
3. Visualize! Envision positive outcomes of situations that you face. Believe what you want into reality!
4. Stop Comparing! Don’t compare yourself to others. Especially if you are sick, do not compare yourself to healthy people. You face completely different situations.
5. Forget Failure! Focus on what you want to accomplish, not what you have yet to do. 

So keep your head held high and fight for your future healthy self. You will persevere and being positive will just get you to your goal faster.

And never forget, even when all seems dark and dreary, there is a light of hope shining out towards you.

“Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

The English punk rock band, The Clash, presented an intriguing question with the title of the song “Should I stay or should I go?” And little did they know how relevant that very question would be in the minds of thousands of chronically ill people struggling with making decisions.   

We are all faced with making decisions in our lives from day to day, some more important than others. And for most people making decisions about common daily task is not a difficult thing to do. However, when you become chronically ill your daily decisions become very different from other peoples. When you are stuck at home day after day, week after week while being sick the choices you make become more challenging. You are no longer concerned about what you are going to wear to work and what type of latte you are going to get that day. For the chronically ill our daily decisions are more along the lines of what new supplement am I going to try today and do I even feel up to taking a shower?

 It is even more difficult when we are faced with decisions of doing things that we want to do but that we know will have repercussion on our body. It’s a forever arguable question, “Should I stay or should I go?” Even though we are sick we are still human. We still want to get out and go places with our friends and have fun; however for most of us that would cause us to go downhill health wise. So what do we do? 

A party is coming up on Saturday and all your friends are going to be there but you haven’t felt well this week and have a doctor’s appointment early Monday morning. In our minds a fight is going on. The conscience of our healthy selves sits on one shoulder while our sick conscience lies on the other shoulder. The healthy suggest “Oh go! It will be loads of fun and you haven’t seen your friends in forever. Don’t worry about feeling bad after, you feel bad anyways.” While the sick interrupts “You know you don’t feel like going. If your friends are really your friends they will understand. Plus you need to start resting up and preparing yourself for going to the doctor Monday.” Ugh! It’s enough to make you want to scream! 

*And a piece of advice ... Never ask outsiders for help in deciding these sorts of things. What the heck do they know? If it’s your friend, they will most likely say go and if it’s your parent or partner they may say stay. Either way they have no clue how it is going to make you feel and if you listen to their advice (good or bad) and you don’t decide for yourself you will have resentment to whatever decision is made. 

Overtime you become more in sync with your body and are willing to accept your limitations. Once you learn your body’s reactions it is somewhat easier to make these decisions. It is a drag to constantly have to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do, but you just have to remember that you are looking out for yourself and are doing it for your own good. Don’t let anxiety overcome you with these decisions or become depressed when you limit your outings. It is hard for anyone, but just remember that you are trying to help your body heal so that you can get back to a completely normal life. Plus half the time watching a movie curled up in bed with a friend or even by yourself can be more fun than going to a night club and fighting off crazy drunks. 

So remember...there are always stars above the darkened clouds. 

You Have to Start Somewhere

So you’ve made it to my blog. You are on my good side so far. I created this blog to share my ideas (sometimes unusually unconventional) and hopefully inform you about issues that are important to me, all the while being wittingly entertaining. However, I warn you now, I am fluent in sarcasm and I am sure that will be present in my post at some point or another. 

You may ask, “Are you a writer?” Well of course, who hasn’t written something in their lifetime?

 Do I want to be a professional writer? The answer to that would be no. I write in my grammatically incorrect way to preserve my thoughts while allowing my mind to evolve. 

So what’s the topic of this blog? My first intentions with this blog was to write about living with a Chronic Illness and how to still try and have some form of a ‘normal’ life. Then I realized I have much more on my mind, so I am not going to put limitations on the topics I will write about. What I want to achieve with this blog is to spread awareness about Chronic Lyme Disease, Chiari Malformation, Gastroparesis, and Chronic Pain while intertwining post about life, philosophy, art, and other random nonsense’s. 

So stay tuned to see where this goes. And remember... 

Even in the darkest moments, if you look hard enough there will always be a light shining.