Why I OWN My Disease... and It Doesn’t Own Me!

Some people may see medical diagnoses as defects of their bodies or as if something is wrong with them. Diagnoses may be used as labels and defining factors to dishearten people instead of instructions to help heal them.
When you own your disease or when you own any situation, it gives you a sense of control over something that may be completely uncontrollable. ‘Owning’ those circumstances allows you to determine how you will let them affect your life. Will you let those challenges crush you or will you stand strong against the storm? It may not be “mind over matter” but your mind most certainly does matter!

When you are faced with any stressful event in life there is always an attuning period that one needs to readjust and focus. Being diagnosed with a new medical condition is exactly the same. You need time to accept what has happened, embrace the changes you will need to make in your life, and then learn to deal with it so that it doesn’t own you. I personally don’t think any of those three stages are ever 100% completed because your life is ever-changing but by striving to achieve those three things you are ‘OWNing’ your life! Use your new found sense of ‘owning’ to be self empowering to help heal yourself and evoke positivity upon others. (‘Owning’ however isn’t arrogance or ignorance!!! Be confident and courageous, not cocky and conceited!)

I have chosen to ‘OWN’ my life; as diseased, multi-diagnosed, or strayed it may be from where I imagined it would have taken me. A lot of people find receiving a diagnosis very comforting, it was for me. If for no other reason, finally having a name to blame for the misunderstood torture I had endured for so many years was relieving. Had I not been diagnosed, I don’t even want to imagine were I would be and I certainly wouldn’t have made the steps forward (as small as they may sometimes seem) to becoming healthy again.

 ‘OWN’ your disease, don’t let it own you! You don’t have to like how your illness has impacted your life or be cheery all day but don’t let the disease take over you! Take control of it, ‘OWN’ it and fight for your own future because you can’t change the past!  

Diamonds into Coal

Deep down under the earth’s surface there lies millions of pieces of coal. Throughout time the heat from the earth’s core and the pressure that continuously pushes on the coal slowly turns it from an ugly black rock into a brilliant diamond. 

Those of you that are living difficult lives and going through hard times, you are exactly this... a piece of coal! The world and all of its hardships are putting pressure on you. You may feel the heat of people’s judgments and expectations, perhaps you feel as if you are stuck in a situation with no way out, or maybe you feel like you are just going to crumble under the pressure. You might just feel like an ugly forgotten piece of dirty, useless coal.

But you’re wrong! You are all a diamond! You are all beautiful and brilliant in your own ways. You say you can’t be a diamond because you are flawed? You are wrong. Even the most beautiful things in life have flaws, even diamonds! It’s our flaws that give us each our own unique qualities even though we are all diamonds. 

Right now you are just a diamond in the rough. You may still be buried under the earth, you may still be going through hard times but don’t be discouraged. The earth is making you perfect and one day soon you will shine like the diamond you are! While you are a piece of coal enduring the journey of having the world weighing down on you and holding up through the pressure it has brought, know that it is making you stronger. So when you are finally a diamond, shiny and bright, you have been made stronger and are more beautiful for what you have gone through.

Even diamonds start as coal, Just wait for your time to shine!

Sickness Is Not Prejudice

Young and stricken with a bacteria or old and plagued with cancer, sickness looks at everyone equally. Disease follows no rules and has no boundaries; this was a concept that became very clear to me not so long ago. 

My grandmother, a survivor of breast cancer, was once again plagued with cancer about 4 years ago. Before my grandmother passed, when her health started to rapidly decline, I would visit her as often as we both could. On one visit, as each of us laid on a couch and watched a quiet black and white movie with the lights off and talked intermittently I came to know that sickness treats everyone in similar ways.

It was that day that it became clear to me how sickness, of all kinds, has similar affects on people. People who endure illnesses are not given letters to wear to show to the world that they are ill. Often times to the normal passer-byer people’s sicknesses are overlooked. It’s the small things that other sick people can identify and relate to that really show how you feel.

 Sick people try so hard not to show their discomfort but there is always a look in their eyes that I have learned to read on to many people’s faces. Not a look of sadness or pain, it’s a look of being slightly more fragile. That same look is often mimicked in people’s movements as their fatigue ridden bodies take a second longer to stand up or they walk in a slower pace. When people are sick we often speak in softer tones and listen with ears of new perspective that appreciates good health all the more. Pain is something else that most people with illnesses acquire in some form or another. As patients alike count their handfuls of colored pills we all seem to have small commonalities in our “sick”uations. 

So if you are a person facing an illness (or if you are healthy) and you have seen someone that is ill and judged them for their actions or thought to yourself their situation couldn’t been as bad as yours... think again. Everyone is fighting their own battle but if you share the enemy of illness you may have more in common than you think. Rich or poor, black or white; when you are struck with a bout of sickness remember that no one is immune. 

Whether you are as healthy as a horse or as sick as a dog, remember to take care of yourself. You only have one life to live, so live it as best you can! 

Unspoken Heroes

In today's world we are constantly reminded of love and hate, peace and war, heroes and villians. We are bonbarded with negativity from every media source about all that's wrong in the world. However, sometimes with sorrowful hearts or thankful prayers, we are reminded of the hero's in the world. These are people that put others lives and well being before themselves. The people that work day in day out, all hours, to protect and better our lives. Soliders, police officers, firefighters, teachers, doctors; these are only a few of the hundreds of thousands of people that deserve our appreciation.

Then their are the heroes that are never known. The ones you may not even call heroes, the ones that are unspoken for. People that are fighting battles in silence and their only hope is to improve the life of themselves or others. The number of these heroes is far beyond that of heroes acknowledged in the media.

I'm a firm believer that everyone has a path and a purpose. I also believe that everyone is given battles to overcome at some point in their lives for certain reasons. People that are Chronically Ill are fighting for their health, happiness, and overall a better life. Some battles that must be fought are darker, deeper, and more difficult especially for people that have been waging against the same war for years or decades! These people, the ones that have been turned away, the ones that have been mistreated or not listened to, the ones that fight and fall only to rise time and time again; these people are Unspoken Heroes!

I have had the pleasure of meeting several of these people and no matter the pain, discomfort, or fatigue they endure they always flash a smile. They may air feelings of hopelessness and we all have days that we break but the heroes in all of us always give reassurances (sometimes unspoken) that "It will get better!" To all the Unspoken Heroes, thank you for persevering- for yourself, for your friends and  family, and for the people you don't even know you've impacted!

Together in our weaknesses we are stronger!

BITE ME! .the movement.

"Bite Me" is a movement that gets rid of negativity and enforces 
optimism in life. 

When you are chronically ill like myself sometimes everyday is a bad day. Everyone has their bad days where every little thing makes you want to curse and shout. So "Bite Me" is inspired by my chronically ill friends suffering from Lyme disease, but is a movement that everyone should try to embrace.

Every month I give myself one "Bite Me" day. That day is the day that 
I have designated as my day to just say to the world "Bite Me!"

Use that one day to express every bad feeling you have. Be mad, be 
angry, be grumpy, hell even be b*tchy! Let it all out! Scream in your 
car, shout some curse words at the top of your lungs, even punch a 
couple pillows. The purpose is to do anything and everything you can 
to express and purge yourself of those "I feel like crap!", "I"m tired 
of being sick and tired!" emotions. Then before you go to bed release 
those emotions and allow yourself to be free of them. Then hopefully 
the next day you will wake up at least feeling a little less angry and 
frustrated.

This approach uses anger in a therapeutic way and gives you a sense of freedom from expressing and releasing those emotions. Let’s be real, everyone, and I mean every single person in this world gets angry, frustrated and harbors some form of negative emotions. Suppressing those feelings and holding them in only makes them fester and grow. So why not use negativity to benefit you in a positive way? Use your anger, use your pain and just force it out all in one day. Then once your emotional reservoir is empty you can fill it with positive thoughts.

Sometimes you just have to get angry and fed up with something to push you to the breaking point, and then when you reflect back you tend to have a new perspective on the issue and may even see new ways to resolve or healthier ways to deal with the issue.

So when you are having a ‘bad day’ take a moment and think to yourself; “Is this going to be the worst day for me this month?” If that answer is no, let it go and keep pushing forward. If the answer is yes, if today is the absolute worst day of the month you can imagine yourself having and everything has just reached its breaking point then say; “Yes, yes world! Today sucks so just BITE ME!”


If you ever feel like your dreams are broken and you've lost your way, just remember all dark clouds have silver linings and the North star is always shining to lead you home.